


He.

by Chaneladdict



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Blowjobs, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Highschool AU, Horny af teenagers do stuff, M/M, No really utterly shameless, Rumlow is a douche, Sam's love for Beyonce is eternal don't even look at her Steve!, Shameless Smut, So many blowjobs, Steve is pretty sure he's not gay, Underage though they're basically 18 so whatever, Usual sexy times tags apply, but he's hella bi, high school seniors, it just takes him a minute to realise how hella bi, like PRETTY SURE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:47:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7003969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaneladdict/pseuds/Chaneladdict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers is pretty sure he's not gay. Like, he's about 80% sure he's not gay??? The guy giving him a blow job, he's pretty sure he might be gay. But psh, Steve... is NOT?<br/>What Steve actually  is, is reluctantly bisexual and sort of in love with this guy. Shameless smut in the form of High School AU, where Bucky is the arty one who is friends with three of the coolest and scariest exchange students in the history of their school, and Steve is the softest of bros falling hard for the cute boy that sits next to him in Math.<br/>Watch them stumble their way into something that resembles a relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He.

**Author's Note:**

> I decided I needed to tackle a High School AU where they were just being utterly horny fools, falling in love, albeit reluctantly as it is. This wasn't meant to be this long, but you know I have no self control! So have almost 18k of this! Enjoy and I love reviews so feel free to tell me what you think! ;) xo

 

He’d been zoning out in math class – again. Thinking about the guy to his left, always thinking about the guy to his left, the one that wore black on black even in the middle of a May heat wave last year, the one with the perfectly thick brown hair that sat perfectly at all times. The one with the piercing blue eyes and a mouth that made Steve blush.

_That guy._

Steve hated that guy, and his perfect fucking face.

Except, well, he didn’t.

As if he could feel Steve looking at him, he turned to look back, and Steve could feel the flush in his face get hotter. And there it was that fucking smirk as he looked him up and down. Steve wanted nothing more to wipe it off his face, with his mouth.

And Bucky knew that too, cocky bastard as he sucked and chewed on the top of his pen, those lips just …

He wasn’t sure when it happened, exactly…

Well, that’s a lie, he knew exactly when, he just wasn’t willing to admit it. But, it had started, somehow, and somehow they went from longing looks and knowing smirks (that frankly drove Steve fucking nuts because that guy was not fucking subtle, like, at all) to what they were now.

And what they were was a mess.

“Mmm, okay … k…Mm, Buck – _Bucky_ wait –” Steve panted, attempting a conversation, it wasn’t going so well. So far all he’d managed to get out was a few questions, but then the kissing started, and then the grinding started, and now his hand was on Steve’s crotch and frankly words were hard.

Words were incidentally, not the only hard things he was currently experiencing.

“Steve,” Bucky pulled back, all swollen mouthed and bedroom eyes, and fuck he looked so good. “Shut up.”

“But –“

“But nothin’, we got like ten more minutes and I wanna get us off before you gotta go to English.”

At that Steve’s toes curled with excitement and frankly complete horniness.

_Fuck._

They were both panting, both flushed and needy, so when Bucky pushed him back harder against the bricks, Steve didn’t protest. He didn’t protest either when those lips went to his neck again either, because well, would you?

They were underneath the bleachers, back so far they were practically off school grounds, but there was a nice dark corner in there where no one from any angle could see anything, not even feet, so, yeah, they took full advantage.

Steve felt Bucky’s breath on his ear, and it tickled, sending tiny shocks of pleasure down his spine too, before Bucky’s lips connected with Steve’s neck again, gently sucking and kissing, and _god_ , it felt too good as they rutted against each other like they did.

“Damn baby you’re about ready to pop,” Buck smirked through hooded eyes and Steve just rolled his.

“You know I fuckin’ hate that shit,” but he smiled because this was their game, or at least it felt like a game. With Bucky, Steve was never really sure where he stood, until he was standing with him up against a wall with some part of his body throbbing for release.

“I _know_ ,” he answered, palming Steve’s dick some more, before unzipping his jeans and yanking them down just so and … and Steve was sure he had a comeback but it got lost.

“You want me on my knees, _baby_?” he was pushing Steve now, knowing he’d have to answer to the stupid fucking pet name if he wanted what he wanted, and he really wanted it.

Instead he closed his eyes, banging his head against the wall gently as he huffed in frustration. Through gritted teeth answered with a pained yes.

It made Bucky chuckle, because he got what he wanted, in a way. Before he pulled Steve’s throbbing, swollen dick from his boxers, and took it in his mouth like it was something he’d been craving forever.

“Jesus Fuck,” Steve mumbled, because yeah, Bucky might be flunking math, but he was a professional at making Steve feel like heaven. No girl that Steve had ever messed around with had ever been this good, had ever made him feel like he was right on the edge of losing his mind just from using their mouth. Steve wasn’t sorry that he aggressively grabbed Bucky’s stupidly soft hair as he sucked Steve off, or that he scraped his scalp just so that made him moan around his cock causing Steve to twitch, and his toes curl again, just as he attempted to pull the guy off him, the guy was just as stubbornly insistent that no, he was taking it all, as Steve spilled down his throat with a stifled moan.  

Steve was seeing stars when he pulled back, sitting back on his legs and looking up – looking devilishly dishevelled, his mouth so fucking pink and swollen, Steve was sure he was obsessed.

“You – “he caught his breath, “didn’t have to do that…”

“What? Swallow?”

Steve nodded as he helped Bucky back to his feet, “It’s just … girls don’t like… to ….do _that_.”

Bucky cocked a brow at him then, “I look like a girl to you?”

“No,” Steve blushed as he tucked himself back into his pants, but he wasn’t done, because Bucky hadn’t gotten off, but the beep on his watch told him he was gonna be late for AP English and that just …

“No, I don’t …” Bucky leaned in then, almost kissing him but not. “And you like that I don’t look a girl don’t you?” he smiled but it wasn’t cocky, it was almost meek, “Like that I don’t smell like a girl, or feel like a girl either even though you’d never admit it, Rogers.”

Steve huffed, trying to shut him up by grabbing for his jacket, palming his chest a little.

“We have to go and you’re not done, so shut up and lemme finish?”

“I’m good.” He pulled back.

Steve’s furrowed brows made Bucky laugh.

“You have to go, you’re gonna be late, I’ve got double free, so I …I’m just going to hang out.”

“Alone. Under the bleachers?”

“Where else am I gonna smoke in peace, huh?”

He didn’t want to go, he wanted to finish what he started, really wanted to get his hands on Bucky like he’d been dying to all week, but between his classes and practice there had been no time.

“But it’s not fair you … got me …and I can’t leave you hanging like this,” he motioned to his very real hard on still present in his pants.

Bucky shook his head, before pulling out the pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket.

“I told you, I’m good. Now go.”

Steve huffed, why he was being so stubborn, Steve would never know. Like a free orgasm was a bad thing?

“If it makes you feel better, you can get me off first next time.” Bucky added, before biting his lip the way he did when he was nervous, the way he did when he and Steve first fell into each other orbit. It was at a party, one of mixed groups from their year, thrown by Clint Barton. The one kid that managed to be both an artist and a football player and avoid any and all shit that was thrown his way, mostly because he was a nerd but could run you through a brick wall if necessary.

Steve wasn’t like that, he was smart, sure, smart enough to get decent grades, to keep his promise of a sports scholarship and in turn keep his mother from having a heart attack at potential college prices. And he did love sports, had done ever since he outgrew his asthma and had his crazy ass growth spurt when he was fourteen.  But he liked to draw as a kid, liked to play piano and his mom’s old guitar, he was a closeted comic book fanatic, and was the blond, six foot one, seventeen year old that loved cartoons. But to the school, he was just the dumb jock they depended on to make the winning plays and keep them in the history books for most wins.

“So there’s gonna be a next time, then?” Steve asked hopefully, looking at his sneakers. The huffed laugh that escaped Bucky made him look up.

“Yeah Rogers, there’s definitely gonna be a next time. You owe me,” he winked and it just annoyed Steve. He didn’t have to play that game with him, not like this. But instead of arguing he just grabbed his backpack from the dirt and slung it over his shoulder, and ran his hand through his hair.

“Okay, I’m late for –“

“Bye.”  Bucky dismissed with a playful tone, because yes he was late, but he was also one of those guys that drew things out too much. If he got detention it wasn’t going to be on Bucky’s dime.

They’d messed around about a dozen times now, and every time it was like this, hot and heavy and amazing for what it was, but as soon as they both got off – and they both usually did – the air changed.  Bucky went from clinging and magnetic to distant and cool. He didn’t want to talk after, not that Steve objected to the silence, it was nice sometimes to not have to reassure the person how good it was or how much he really liked them. With the girls he dated, it was always about being a manly guy, being macho, and it was tiring as all hell if he was honest. Sometimes he just wanted to be the one to whimper when something felt good, to crumble under someone’s lips and come undone.

The first time fooling around with Bucky was unlike anything else, and frankly not what he had planned. For starters, he’d never even kissed a guy before then.

 Barton’s parties were always a mixed bag. It happened when you had parents that were never around and a credit card to use for ‘emergencies’.

He’d been fighting with his on and off girlfriend, this time it was off, very off, so off he wanted to erase it from his mind, and so he’d gotten wasted on the cheap vodka mixers.

It wasn’t as if he’d never noticed Bucky before, he wasn’t blind, and besides they’d been in some classes together for four years, and he was a buddy of Barton’s, they vaguely knew of each other in that distant head nod greeting kind of way.  Everyone commented that James Barnes should have been a football player; he wasn’t a skinny hipster kid like most in that class either. He was built, not too tall, not too short, took track in freshmen year, so everyone knew he was fast… but he just chose not to do anything with whatever he was packing. Instead, he stuck to his crew that included the three terrifying exchange students – Natasha from Moscow, Peggy from London, and Wanda something from somewhere in Eastern Europe who’s dad owned the big car company in town. She didn’t talk a lot from what Steve could see, but she seemed nice.  Clint ate lunch with them on and off but that was, Steve was pretty sure, only to try and woo Natasha, who he had the world’s most insane crush on since she had arrived sophomore year . They were all too cool for school, and definitely too cool for their school. But Bucky had a rep, because he hung with chicks, because he was an artsy type, because he was quiet, because, because, because.  Not least because he had just sucked Steve off ten minutes ago, that he was gay.

Steve wasn’t gay.

Steve was _pretty_ sure he wasn’t gay.

                                                                               ******

“You are so transparent,” Natasha commented as he walked in the cafeteria, tray in hand.  It was pizza day, he was so happy.

“How’s that?”

“Where’d you disappear to earlier?” Wanda cut in, chewing her slice of plain cheese.

“I had something to do. Why?”

Both girls …. Women… looked at each other as if to say, ‘bullshit.’

“Would that ‘something’ be a certain quarterback with tits bigger than mine by any chance?” Peggy added as Bucky sat down.

“Okay one, SHUSH, and two, Peg darlin’, you know no one has bigger jugs than you so stop fishing.”

She grinned, sipping her soda.

“So it was him, really? James, we’ve talked about this, closet cases are not good for the brain.”

“Or the dick,” Wanda added, once again backing Nat up.

He just rolled his eyes.

“It’s nothing okay, so just drop it.”

All three of them looked to each other.

“Jesus Christ, you three it’s like the goddamn witches of Eastwick up in here, let it go.” He angrily chewed on his pizza, his happy pizza mood slightly ruined by their judgement.

“Fine, whatever, do you have our biology homework for tomorrow? My pen ran out for notes.” Nat added, and after that they faded into chatter that either didn’t concern him, or didn’t require too much brain power to partake in. He noticed Steve coming into the seating area, of course he did. He was larger than life in a lot of ways, physically for one, but in personality too, and not just in an aggressive jock way either, he was always smiling, always joking, making someone else laugh seemed to be his favourite thing.  Bucky glanced in his direction once, and of course it was something Natasha noticed, tutting as she did so.

“He keeps looking over here you know,” Wanda added, people thought she was the quiet one, but she was sneaky. “Like sad puppy lost in the rain,” her accent got thicker as she smiled at Bucky. “Big, sad blond puppy just wants to petted,” she laughed like the little weirdo she was, but it made Bucky laugh, and he absolutely did not look in Steve’s direction.

Well, for at least ten more minutes anyway.

                                                                                                               *****

“The Brit, The Russian or the whereverinthehellshe’sfrom chick,” Sam asked and brought Steve back from his daydream.

“Huh?”

“Which one of them do you got your eye on? For me, personally, it’s the redhead, but she’s –“at that a fry hit Sam on the head and he just sighed, “but she’s on Barton’s radar yes, you freak, we know,” he throw one back because they were children. “But for me, redhead aside, the Brit, she’s feisty.”

“Oh um … I don’t know they’re all you know, hot.”

Sam nodded, as Steve looked over freely this time, and Bucky was laughing at something Wanda had said, a big laugh all teeth and happy eyes, and man Steve wanted to make him laugh like that.

Fuck.

Sam was a big dude, same height as Steve but built thicker, he said it was his ‘Mamma’s southern genes’ that gave him his ‘booty’, a word Steve wasn’t ‘allowed’ to say anymore because ‘it hurt his people with that white as hell voice of his,’ so he just didn’t try any more, but, he was, thicker than Steve, but just as fast, and they made a good team, a team inside the team. Because, while he loved his sport, some of his teammates were complete and utter dicks, so he liked to avoid them when necessary. But, Wilson, Barton, and Odinson were his crew.  Some dumb, some smart, all good guys for the most part.

“And it’s got nothing to do with her rack, right?” Steve commented, quietly. Because yeah, he was a good guy but he wasn’t blind. Peggy was beautiful, all full lips and warm eyes, and yeah, the biggest rack he’d seen on a girl in real life. And her accent was hot as hell too, he had many a naughty teacher fantasy about her, but he kept those to himself. It was something to do with being English and being ‘in charge’; his Irish mother would probably beat him if she knew.

“I’m just sayin’ that girl is packing heat and I want some of it. I want all of it. Mmhm.”

“Isn’t she dating what’s his face in AP bio?”

“Ew, no don’t go shitting on my dreams, Barton don’t you do it.”

Clint just rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his soda.

“Fine whatever, live in denial, but I thought she was dating Barnes.”

At that Steve snorted unintentionally, and it made them all stop and look at him.

“You know something? Rogers, don’t hold out on me, is she dating him or what?” Sam asked, stealing a fry from Steve’s plate. They were cold now anyway.

“No, I mean … I don’t know really I just don’t think... she’s his type is all.”

“Because he’s a fruit,” from across the table Brock Rumlow commented, and as usual everyone ignored him.

“Because?” Sam asked again.

“I don’t know man… I hear he has a thing for blondes.”  Steve attempted to shrug naturally, but he noticed Clint noticing him, and it made the hairs stand on the back of his neck.

“Yes, still got a shot. Barton when are your utterly neglectful parents out of town next, I think we need another rager,” Sam smiled, and Steve busied himself with is pizza. Ignoring Clint’s gaze.

                                                                               *********

Art class was a good place to slow his brain, to slow his thoughts and anxieties, and all that crap that came with high school on the daily basis. But not the best place for focus,  given how Bucky’s brain strayed from the page and back to memories of the tall blond guy he sucked off not two hours prior. He had sworn to himself after freshmen year, no more football players, no more closet cases, no more of that at all.

He was doing well, for the most part. If he hooked up, it was with college guys, almost always older guys in general, because it was easier to walk away from strangers. The other gay kids in his school weren’t his type, not in looks, or personality or anything like that, it was just a … maturity thing, he guessed, plus if he was being totally honest, maybe a little bit of fear, to have something not sex based, with someone he’d see all the time? He wasn’t even sure he knew how to do that, never mind if he’d be any good at it.

So yeah, he broke his own rules for Rogers, and for two reasons, one Wanda was right, he was a stupid puppy of a boy just looking for affection, and attention, for something other than his work on a field. And two, well, Bucky had had a crush on him since he made the team sophomore year. He … all of them really, the whole art’s crew always went out to support Clint, he was their guy after all. The _normal_ one, well, as normal as it got with his upbringing, and besides, Barton was a good guy, so supporting his sporting efforts weren’t really a chore – even for the emo kids who never left their caves. He was just that kind of guy, welcomed everyone, loved everyone, and in turn everyone loved him. So, they did the team spirit shit, and went to games. And it was when Steve took over the quarterback position that year that’s when Bucky actually started paying attention to the games.

Or the practices. You know, in the name of supporting the _team_.

Their first hook up at Barton’s place was messy, they were both drunk, Steve was totally emotional and Bucky had just been hiding out, taking a break from the endless shots Natasha was producing and thus insisting he do, to make her ‘motherland proud, motherfucker.’ Steve had stumbled into the bedroom, bottle of cheap ass vodka in hand, that Natasha refused to drink, it was the principle of thing, she said.

“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here I can go –“he swayed as he stood and Bucky just laughed at something his size not being able to hold his drink.  He was sitting by the window, finishing his cigarette.

“Nah, don’t worry about it, I can go if you need some time …” he stood then to leave but Steve sat on the bed with a sad sort of a noise escaping his lips.

“No … I mean you could stay if you wanted. You were here first.”

Sad puppy. Jesus, Wanda had it nailed.

“Are you okay, man?” Bucky asked and Steve laughed, it was not a happy laugh.

“No … yes… I don’t know. Maybe?” he giggled. “No. I’m not. But hey, no this is a party!!” he smiled trying to at least. “You should be out there being all …teenaged and stuff.” He mumbled.

Bucky shook his head then, walking over to sit next to him, grabbing the shit vodka from him and taking a slug. Instantly regretting it.

Nat was right. Ugh.

“You should be too, right?”

“Eh.” He shrugged before falling back on the bed and looking up at the ceiling. “Had enough of that in drama form tonight.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Heard about that huh?”

“Pretty sure there are dogs two states over that heard that, is she always so… loud?”

That made Steve laugh.

“We’ve been dating two months, I’m not sure when we crossed the line to walking down an aisle at seventeen, but apparently we did and I missed it.”

“,She got mad because?”

“I told her I wasn’t in love with her, but now I don’t know…  I don’t know anything I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.”

And that’s how it started, just them on a bed talking shit about exes and being dumb fucks who fell hard and ended up going along with things to make life easier. Somehow between that and talking about the Sistine Chapel, Bucky was laying down next to Steve, and Steve was gazing at Bucky’s mouth.

Bucky knew a lot of things, and one of which was that that look, he knew that look, and even though it was coming from the drunk football star, he also knew his dick was getting hard at the thought of being able to kiss those lips, even more so at the idea of getting kissed back.

_Because damn._

So, he was either going to get kissed or he was going to get his ass kicked, but he leaned in, taking the code of ‘you look like you wanna devour my mouth so let’s see,’ as far as he could. And sure enough, Steve and his stupidly soft looking eyelashes fluttered closed, and he let the kiss happen. And then another one, and another, before grabbing Bucky and pulling him on top of him, groaning through more kisses, and frankly Bucky remembers being light headed because … he was pretty sure he was dreaming as they began rutting against each other though kisses, through necking as they rolled around on the guest bed at the Barton place. It wasn’t until Steve lost his shirt that Bucky was firmly in fuckedville, population him, because Steve really _did_ have tits to rival Peggy’s.

“It... I’m not … I’m _not_ …”

“Gay I know, it's fine, whatever.” It wasn’t his first rodeo with a confused jock.

“No … but I’m not. I’ve never … Fuck _Buck_ –“

It made Bucky laugh; because he was that adorable.

Before they knew it Mr I’m Not Gay, was confessing how beautiful he thought Bucky was ‘and not even like a girl but you’re really pretty, you know?” and Bucky wasn’t offended at all, mostly because he wasn’t pandering or obnoxious about it, it seemed like he was genuinely complimenting him. Not just to pacify him like most guys did to him in that way. By the time Bucky had both their dicks in his hand, jacking them both off slowly, he couldn’t take his eyes off Steve’s, and his were closed most of the time, but he just looked so …. Good. So damn good falling apart because of what Bucky was doing to him, and that got Bucky going more than anything.  Steve’s big stupid hands pawing at his face, his neck, his chest, and finally asking, ASKING politely if he could take over, if he could jack Bucky off. He had stifled a laugh, because really, he was so sweet about the whole thing, right up until he licked his fucking palm and started a rhythm that mirrored Bucky’s.

“Never done this before… it … it… ugh GOD.” He murmured, “Mm… Mmm… God,” He panted and Bucky still doesn’t know how he held out as long as he did with the actual Greek statue of a dude getting him off with his hands, and his kisses, and his pornofuckingraphic moans. It was obscene.

They both came within seconds of the other, and all over each other’s belly’s too. After, Bucky assumed there would that whole ‘No Homo’ fear and rage and maybe he’d feel dirty and wrong, and he’d be left alone in the room? But that’s not what happened at all. Instead, Steve just giggled and fell back on the bed, dragging Bucky with him by grabbing his arm.

“Never done that before; I mean…”

“You said before… you did … good.” Amazing; He really wanted to taste that really pretty pink dick, but he refrained from saying so out loud.

He looked at Bucky then, sort of dazed.

“Thanks. You too. It’s kinda … kinda like doing it yourself but … way more fun. Like, you knew …” and he blushed. “Knew just how I liked it right away…”

“Yeah well, when you got a dick it’s not difficult to know exactly what feels good.”

“Girls are scared to –“

“Hurt it. Yeah. That’s a thing.” Bucky laughed.  And then Steve laughed, and it was just that simple.

Steve retrieved his shirt as Bucky buttoned his up, fixed his pants, as Steve shuffled his back up his slim waist. He didn’t make him swear not to tell, or threaten to kick his ass if he did, he just said thank you, and left.

The next time they were stone cold sober, and had stared each other through forty minutes of free period before Steve followed Bucky to the janitor’s closet where they made out for twenty minutes.

After that, it just seemed to keep on happening.

                                                                                               **********

Their shared classes were math, biology, English sometimes, and history, frankly Bucky’s now favourite classes because in two he sat across from Steve and in one he sat behind him. Of course in those classes were also Nat and Wanda and Peggy, so he couldn’t really enjoy the glances he’d sneak here and there without knowing that one of them was probably glaring at him for it. It was all his fault really, after the first time he and Steve fooled around he had stupidly confessed it to Natasha, because he was excited and confused, and on frankly a bit of a high from it all. She’d tried to talk him out of it, seeing how popular the guy was, how utterly and ‘grossly straight he is,’ and his history with the over dramatic chicks at their school, it wasn’t like she didn’t have a very valid point.

But also, Steve was the one that kept coming to him, so really what was he meant to think?

As Ms Henry rambled on and on about Othello, he could feel Steve’s eyes on him,  and confident in the fact that everyone else had their noses buried in their text books he chanced a glance in his direction; where sure enough Steve was looking. He had his head in his hand, facing Bucky’s direction, and when he saw that Bucky was looking back, he smiled before looking at Bucky’s mouth, and then to his eyes and back again. Bucky sort of hated and loved the thrill it sent up his spine that right there in the middle of class, Steve Golden Boy Rogers was having dirty thoughts about him.

By the time the bell rang and the class let out, he was just dying to be touched. On edge just a little too much, so that when Steve walked in sync with him, he could almost feel the electricity.

“Hey, so um, what we were talking about, the other day about me owing you that thing,” Steve began, and no one even batted an eyelid as they made their way through the halls.

“Yeah?”

“My mom is on night shift all this week so uh, I was thinking maybe …”

“Ugh, James there you are thank god!” Natasha appeared out of nowhere at his other side, a dramatic air about her face. “We need to get to Coulson’s room stat,  you know there was a flood? We have to figure this shit out because I think some of our final grade projects were ruined.”

Wait, what?”

“A flood.”

“Hi Natasha,” Steve added meekly, with a little wave and everything. She may or may not have just ignored him.

“A pipe burst in the men’s bathroom next to his room, it’s all fucked, basically told us to get down there and help out.” She was all but dragging him in another direction, but he just gave Steve that ‘what can you do’ face, and he seemed to be fine with that, if a little embarrassed.

Because Natasha was rude as fuck.

“Jesus you’re about as subtle as a flying turd, Nat. God.”

She rolled her eyes.

“You’re not as subtle as you think you are either, God, you were both practically eye fucking each other in class, and don’t think I’m the only one that noticed.” She sighed as they slowed their roll rounding the corner, “Sam, was watching you both on and off and frankly he’s not stupid so could you at least … I don’t know… be less obvious.”

“So we looked at each other, so fucking what?”

“Not like that, that was intention, that was eye fucking and don’t try to bullshit me, I know you. And I know that this will all blow up and you’ll end up getting hurt and he will just walk the fuck away because he’s untouchable.”

Sometimes he really hated her protective streak.

“You know I appreciate the … big sister thing you got going on, I do.”

“Don’t –“

“But Nat really, I’m fine, it’s just … a thing. Okay, we’re not dating, we’re not really anything, it’s just fun.”

“And when it stops being fun?”

“Then it stops fully. I know what I’m doing.” He added as they got to the room, and sure enough Mr Coulson was swearing up a storm, attempting rescue ruined art works.

Well, shit.

“But thank you for your concern, you nut job.” He smiled before smacking a kiss on her forehead just to annoy her even more.  “Hey Mr C, what’s up?!”

It would take them three hours after school to fix the collections. But hey, extra credit was extra credit.

                                                                                               ***

Natasha was grabbing her books from her locker during her free period, when Steve saw the opportunity to talk to her alone, on his way back from practice, sure he was gross and on his way to the showers, but he’d forgotten his body wash in his locker, so a detour was necessary. When she slammed her locker door shut he spoke.

“Do you have some kind of problem with me?”

She looked at him, incredulous, with a cocked brow. Her red hair tied neatly today in a ballerina bun, she was dressed in a slouchy black sweater and jeans, and yet she still looked like she could kill him with a look.

“No.”

“Seems like you do.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Maybe I do whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does when I haven’t even done anything _to_ you,” Steve countered, a little hurt, he was after all so used to people liking him, not just because he was popular, but because he was a nice person. At least that’s what everyone said.

“No, you haven’t, not to me, but you know someday soon whatever this is with my friend.” She chose her words carefully, “it’ll bore you, and you’ll move on and he’ll be left to pick up the pieces, so yeah, maybe I’m just not on board the love train where you’re concerned, Rogers. Because I don’t know you, and frankly I don’t trust you.”

Steve’s face was suddenly hot.

“He … told you?”

She rolled her eyes again.

“Yeah, he did, and frankly even if he didn’t you’re both being reckless and stupid, so I would have figured it out anyway.”

Clenching his jaw he nodded.

“I’m not … it’s not… I don’t want to hurt him, Natasha.”

“Good. Because if you do, I’ll hurt you, I don’t give a shit how many trophies you win for this piece of shit school.” And with that terrifying threat, she walked away.

Holy shit Bucky had some awesomely terrifying friends.

                                                                               ******

For three days Steve avoided him, and he knew, somewhere in his bones that Natasha had something to do with it. But, with art classes, revision for math, and three essay’s due within two weeks, teamed with Steve’s football practice (thanks, Clint,) he also figured that maybe life just got in the way. They’d text a time or two before, but that was really just to meet up somewhere convenient.  This time it was radio silence.

Well, at least he figured that until he ran into Steve in the bathroom after lunch that Thursday.

“Hey.” Bucky opened, as he was washing his hands, and Steve zipped up glancing in his direction.

“Hey.”

Beat. Silence.

Okay?

“You okay?” Bucky asked, maybe he was just having a bad day.

“I’m good, just… you know, tired.”

Bucky nodded. Clint had mentioned how hard their coach was working them. It must suck.

“Same. I mean probably not the same kind of tired, running with all that gear and stuff,” he smiled, “but still.”

Steve wasn’t really looking him in the eye and it sucked. He was so used to his undivided attention now.

“Yeah,” Steve added, emotionless.

“Okay… well I guess I won’t keep you.”  He got as far as the door before Steve grabbed him by the shirt to stop.

“I’m sorry. I … am I’m sorry I just… You told Natasha.”

Bucky’s heart started to race.

“I trust her, she’s my friend.”

He nodded.

“I know, I just didn’t know she knew so when I talked to her and she chewed me out it was … terrifying because she could tell anyone.”

“They won’t.”

“THEY?!”

Bucky sighed.

“You told them all? All of them? Does Clint ?”

“No!” God, as if he would. “Just the girls, and only because they … I don’t know man they’re like family okay, we don’t have to worry about them, I promise.”

Steve took a deep breath then, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Look, um, maybe we should stop then.” Bucky suggested against every damn urge in his body because Steve looked really good in that blue sweater he was wearing and it was just cold enough that Bucky knew he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt underneath.  “It’s… not something you should be this stressed over; it was meant to be fun, right?” Bucky shrugged, being mature sucked.

“You think we should?”

From the look of relief on his face it was obvious Steve was looking for an out, so Bucky gave it to him.

“Yeah. We should. Before it gets complicated, before it … you know?”

Steve nodded, running his hand through his hair.

“Yeah. I … okay. I guess.”

There was an awkward silence, as they both sort of stood there, shuffling their feet a tad.

“Okay, well, um…. Thanks?” Steve laughed at himself then, closing his eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

Bucky merely shrugged.

“You don’t have to say anything, we’re good.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course,” he forced a smile. “See you around.” And with that Bucky all but bolted. His heart was pounding, his hands were sweaty, his face he was sure was beet red. Why did he do that? That was the last thing he wanted to do!

                                                                                              ***********

It was the worst two weeks of Steve’s life, he was pretty sure. After his sort of-weird-non-break-up in the men’s room with Bucky it just went from bad to worse. He was sure he flunked his biology test, he sprained his ankle in training, got in a fight with his mom over the shittiest of things, and got benched for the next game because of his injury – which cleared in a few days but no, and of course he wasn’t allowed to put any pressure on it.   His life sucked, he was in pain both physically and if he was honest, emotionally too. His ex-girlfriend was giving him evils from across the halls, Bucky was avoiding even making eye contact with him, he was pretty sure Natasha was plotting his demise, and he was failing at everything.

So when Barton suggested a party, he didn’t need to be asked twice.

“STEVIE C’mere,” Barton yelled from outside, there was a fire pit now, the dangers of which were not lost on Steve, but hey, they had marshmallows and alcohol, he was alright right now.

“Steve, hi, this here is Nina, she’s a friend of a friend, she goes to the Sister what’sit’s school across town, Nina, this is Steve.” He grinned; he was really drunk too by the looks of things, before wiggling his brows at Steve.  Steve just smiled at the girl, she was cute. Short, brunette, nice eyes, great tits…. Not that he’d get caught looking but that didn’t mean he didn’t look.

“Hi Steve, Clint’s been singing me your praises all night.”

Steve smiled before downing his cup of vodka and juice.

“It’s all lies I swear!” that made her laugh and she took it from there. She was a hand’s on kind of Catholic girl, literally, and by the time he suggested making her a s’more she was giggling at just about everything he said.  It felt nice, but it also felt all kinds of wrong. Not least because he knew that Bucky was inside, somewhere, with his crew, he’d seen Natasha so he knew. He just wanted to go in there and see him and talk or kiss or touch, but now he couldn’t.  So he focused on Nina and her pretty laugh, as he downed his sixth cup of what he was pretty sure was poison.

                                                                                               **********

“I’m just saying if they pumped as much into our educations as they did the senators off shore accounts the country wouldn’t be in the mess it is now, Nat, NAT am right, right?”

“He’s right, he’s also hammered, but he’s right.” She smiled at him from her seat on Clint’s lap; Clint looked to be in heaven, which made Bucky happy even though he was sad.

“See, Wanda I’m tellin’ the republican old ladies at your Ma’s club, they’re nuts don’t drink the uncoolaid.”

Wanda laughed then topping up his drink, but he had to pee. So he announced as much as he wobbled his way from his comfy seat, through the grinding, dancing bodies, as he made his way up the stairs.

“Yo Barnes.” Heading down the hallway toward the one bathroom he figured would be empty, from the games room (because the Barton’s were the kind of assholes that had a room for games,) popped Brock Rumlow and Bucky instantly groaned.

“Not in the mood, Brock go… annoy someone else.”

“Aw come on now,” the guy still followed. “I’m not that bad you know,” yes he was, and so much worse. “I just wanted to say hi.”

“Hi. Bye.” He went to move away but Brock’s stupid massive arm blocked his way.

“Nice to see you not covered in paint splatter for a change, you trying to impress someone or something?” he added, touching his shirt. Sure, for the most part Bucky was always covered in paint or charcoal, his white-shirts never stayed that way for too long, but thankfully he had curated a look of sorts, with his messy hair and his leather jackets, the mess that he was just seemed to fit.

“I don’t have to try, I just do.” He sassed and the other guy just smirked.

“Yeah you do…”

A beat and then it was obvious where Rumlow wanted this to go. Not happening. Not again.

“I really gotta take a piss man so if you don’t mind.”

“I get that, but I was thinking if you’re bored you might wanna just get out of here?” He grinned; that shark’s grin, that grin that fourteen year old Bucky had fallen for once.

“No, I’m good here thanks.” And still he didn’t move. “You want me to piss all over Barton’s hallway? Move,” he added annoyed now.

And still he didn’t move.

“C’mon kid,” Bucky was six months younger, Brock could go fuck himself, literally. “Let’s just get out of –“

“Everything alright?” Came the voice from behind Brock, and sure enough there was Steve, standing there, drink in hand, looking curiously on as to what was going on.

“Hey Cap!” Rumlow bellowed, “Nah we’re good, just talking shit you know how it is,” in the midst of the distraction, Bucky ducked and moved toward the bathroom, where he promptly locked the bathroom door, leaving the jocks to it.

Taking several deep breaths as he finally got to piss, clean up the spill on his pants from one of the many jello shots Wanda made him do, and then wash his hands. When he opened the door again Brock was gone, but Steve was still there, leaning against the wall, seemingly distracted.

“You alright, Steve?”

“Huh? Oh, hey. Hi. Um, no I’m good, I was actually gonna ask you the same thing.” He smiled, no teeth, but it was real.

“I’m good –“

“Because Rumlow seemed like –“

“Yeah, well, he’s a dick. I can handle him, its fine.”

“Seemed like he was … interested.” His words then almost had a hard edge to them. Was he jealous?

“Yeah, maybe; who cares, right? He’s not my type.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know … look I’m going back downstairs okay?”

Steve nodded then standing up straight as Bucky walked past, but before he could he grabbed Bucky softly by the belt buckle on his jeans.

“Wait, can we … can I talk to you?”

“What do you think we’re doin’, Steve?” Bucky laughed then, maybe a little unsure; because they were done, so the fast pace of his heart could fuck right off, this was just a conversation.

“Please?”

And there he was again, the overgrown puppy with the sweet eyes and stupidly plump lips, and his stupidly too tight t-shirt. It was too much for his brain to handle.

“In private?”

See, his brain was saying ‘no you moron do not go into a dimly lit, empty room with him, alone, you’ll want to do stuff’, but his dick was just chanting ‘do stuff, dooo stuff!’ He hated his life.

But he went because, well, he was seventeen and his dick always wins.

They walked down the other hallway to the little box room that Bucky knew would be empty, mostly because it consisted of a daybed and a ton of boxes. It did smell weirdly like lavender which was a plus he guessed.

“Look I don’t know how to do this, Bucky okay? It’s not … something I planned on happening?”

“You asked me up here, Steve.”

“Not that… THIS.” He raised his arms in defeat before sitting down dramatically on the tiny bed. “Us.”

“Is no us Steve, you’re not gay, you’re not … bi you’re not … and its fine. I knew that going in that it was just messin’ around, it’s fine.”

“I don’t know what I am.” He confessed quietly. “Before you I was… sure… I was just into chicks, just because what’s not to love right? But…then I thought that night, why not? It’s not that I was grossed out by gay guys or nothin’ I don’t much  care who does what… but I never wanted to before… before you.”

Bucky leaned against the door then, listening.

“Then we did and then it just kept on happening like … I don’t know, you were this other half of a magnet or somethin’ and I just wanted. I _wanted_ you… all the time.”

Bucky was willing himself to stay neutral, but the best looking, sweetest guy in his whole life was being the sweetest guy in his whole life right in front of him, in that really see-through shirt with backlighting.

_Damn._

“I don’t know what it means, or anything… but I do know I miss you, and downstairs tonight I was talking to this really sweet, real hot girl right, and all I kept thinkin’ was, damn Bucky would have understood that joke, or gotten that reference, or made me feel like it wasn’t just stupid chit-chat.” Steve shrugged then and stood, making his way to Bucky in two short steps, the room was that small.

“And all I kept thinking was I miss him, and I … I owe him.” He was right there now, in Bucky’s face, backing him gently against the door with his presence. Looking from his lips to his eyes again like he does; making Bucky’s spine tingle, like goddamn Tinkerbelle.

He knew instantly what he was talking about, the whole ‘next time you can get me off first,’ quip that haunted him.

“It doesn’t work like that, Steve you don’t owe me shit.”

The other guy smiled, looking him in the eyes then.

“I know, but I want to.”

“Steve –“

“In all the times we’ve fooled around it’s always been you, you in charge, you on your knees, you making sure I had a good time. Sure, I did stuff, but just with my hands, never … my mouth.”

Oh God, Bucky was dying because this wasn’t happening right now.

Except it was, and in that super small room with the sounds of the party below their feet, Bucky was sure he was melting into a puddle.

“And I want to,” He whispered then, smooth as butter leaning in to kiss Bucky, holding his face in both hands in such a way that Bucky was doing all he could to not fall down.  The kiss was magic and he had missed the kissing so much, because Steve Rogers was amazing at two things, stupid football, and kisses. Bucky huffed a breath and let it happen, just letting himself float away on cloud Rogers.

It wasn’t until he slid to his knees that Bucky snapped back into reality.

“Steve, no, come on man, you don’t have to do this.”

“I know that, just …”

“No, you don’t have to!”

He just sighed at Bucky then, his hands now on his belt.

“I know Buck, but I want to.”

“You’re –“

“Look I don’t think … I don’t think I’m gay? But… I’m sure as hell not as straight as I thought either.”

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

“So…” he reached for Bucky’s belt then and inhaled, “if you don’t want this, please,” with every word he got closer to undoing Bucky’s pants, “just… tell me to stop?”

Bucky wanted to speak, to say no, to say that he wasn’t able to be his experimental phase, he was more than that… but then Steve was cupping him through his boxers, and softly taking his dick out and gently taking him in his mouth, like he was something to be careful with, to be gentle with, to be careful with. And he sucked him off, over and over until they both couldn’t breathe.  He was sloppy at first, unsure, and maybe a little scared?  But Steve never backed down from his fears, not on the field and not in that room, he wasn’t sure how he was doing, but if Bucky’s moans and grip on his hair meant anything, it meant he wasn’t doing too badly for his first time.

“How ‘m I doin’?” he asked through wet slurps that shouldn’t have been as hot as they were. Bucky just banged his head against the door, giving very wobbly thumbs up. It made Steve grin before he got back down to business, and holy shit. With his lashes damp casting shadow on his cheeks, the dim lights meant the shadows cast showed just how he was sucking, just how his throat was working him. It was intoxicating; more so than any cheap vodka at any party.

“You sure you never did this before?” Bucky whispered and Steve pulled off with a loud, amazing pop.

“No, but…uh it’s been a week of finding gay porn… and holy …you taste good…” he sounded surprised which almost insulted Bucky, but when went back at it again for a few minutes of pure heaven causing Bucky to lose all hope of a graceful orgasm,  he came without warning, all over Steve’s face.

“Shitting, fucking shit, Sorry!” Bucky cringed.

Steve looked shocked for a split second, before he laughed.

“Well, wasn’t expectin’ _that_ … Damn…” he reached in his jeans pocket and retrieved a tissue, because of course he had one, and wiped his face clean as Bucky helped him to his feet. And he laughed again, like it was just an everyday thing. Bucky kissed him before he could talk himself out of it, and before he knew it, he had Steve on the bed, on his lap, grinding and panting and getting the blond as worked up as he could without getting entirely naked.

“Been wanting to do that to you for a while,” Steve panted out as Bucky unzipped Steve’s jeans, “Been wanting it all for a while, just too … too… ugh,” he moaned as Bucky took him in hand, throbbing, red, and hot.

“Too chicken shit to say it out loud; and when you walked away I … I _… aw God, Buck, please_.”

He was trying so hard to be grown, to be in two places at once, to carry on a conversation as Bucky jerked him off, painfully slowly, so slowly that he was already leaking onto his hand, making it easier and messier all at once.

“What do you want?”

“Man, come on, don’t do this …” he huffed, trying to keep composure.  “Don’t be a tease.”

Bucky’s phone lit up, and he dragged it out of his back pocket, seeing Nat’s smiling face pop up before he threw it on the bed behind Steve.

“She hates me, she … she …” Bucky grinded against Steve’s cock with his own and that caused him to pant, resting his head on Bucky’s shoulder, “Like that, yes. God, please, don’t stop.”

“Who’s the tease, Rogers? Huh? I’m not the one doing laps every damn day with no top on, am I? Do you know how fuckin’ distracting that is?”

“Yes.” He answered, cocky now, right before he flipped them over on to the bed, getting in between Bucky’s legs, crawling up his body and kissing his neck, his jaw, his lips, all the while grinding his cock and rutting against Bucky like there was no tomorrow.  Bucky let it happen, it was too hot and messy to stop, and he let Steve come, jerking and panting and probably seeing stars, all over Bucky’s boxers.

Because who needed dignity anyway.

And because his phone wasn’t stopping, which meant Nat was looking for him, for them.

Steve was flushed above him, mouth swollen, and Bucky wanted to fucking devour him.

“We gotta move, Nat’s looking for me, and if she finds you …”

“Aw fuck,” Steve rolled then, tucking himself into his pants with a hiss. By the time they got themselves straightened out and opened the bedroom door Bucky saw her standing at the other end of the hallway, not looking too impressed.

When she and Steve eyeballed each other, Bucky was afraid what might be said for a half a second.

“Come to my place on Wednesday night?” he whispered, still looking at her, “My mom’s working… please?”

Bucky just nodded as she made her way down the hallway, a thunderous look on her face, but Steve didn’t back down, instead he just cocked a brow, smiled and then looked to Bucky before he dipped down and for the quickest second, kissed him on the lips.

“See you later.” He murmured a cocky smirk in place as he nodded to Nat.

“Good to see you again, Natasha.” He added before all but motherfucking sauntering away.

Bucky couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, because what fresh hell was his life exactly?

When he was out of earshot she just rolled her eyes.

“Fine you know what I don’t even care anymore, think with your dick, so what I care when it goes to shit.” And with that she walked away, clearly angry; he understood why. She was there when he got hurt the first time,  the only time he’d let his walls down, and she’d seen how devastated it had made him, but Steve wasn’t Brock, and Bucky wasn’t fifteen anymore.

He hoped this time would be different.

                                                                               ***********

“Sam is pretty sure I’m dating someone I shouldn’t be. He thinks it’s Monroe’s ex.” Steve smiled as he sipped his soda. “I mean, she’s cute and all but I don’t do that, with the guys on the team there’s like a rule you know?”

“What honour amongst thieves kind of thing?” Bucky quipped and yeah, this was nice. They were just lying on Steve’s bed, talking. The TV was on, though neither was really paying attention.

“Sorta, I mean it just stops any potential messes you know?”

“You’re a good Captain, Captain,” Bucky smirked.

He was pretty sure they’d made out for a half an hour when he first arrived, not quite making it out of the kitchen to do so either, but the edge was worn off a little the more they spoke, the more it was obvious that Bucky was in no rush to go home.

Steve’s house wasn’t what he was expecting; it was smaller than his own, a two bedroom, one and a half baths, with a regular living room and a nice kitchen. The garden was small, and they owned a cat named Paws. He knew Steve’s mom was a single mom, so money wasn’t as readily available like it was at his place with two of his folks working all the time, but his home was just that, a home. Bucky liked it.

“Yeah well, one more week and I’m free, season’s done, I can finally eat something other than chicken breasts and rice, goddamn, I’m so looking forward to that.”

They trained hard, he knew that much being buddies with Clint, he also knew Clint had zero aspirations beyond high school, he wasn’t interested, and he wanted to be a

“You know what you wanna do? After?”

“Yeah, um, got the scholarship in place for next year, narrowed it down to Ohio State or USC or Notre Dame.”

“Swank for choice then,” Bucky remarked and Steve blushed.

“I worked for it,” Steve shrugged.

“Not saying you haven’t, it’s just … pressure.”

“Yeah, no shit. I gotta keep playing, to keep the money, so I don’t really have a choice there. But… I like USC; Mom wants Notre Dame.”

Bucky just nodded, his folks didn’t really care if he went to college or not, they didn’t much care for anything he did. They were good people, just, disinterested. He had applied to a few, but couldn’t imagine leaving New York.

“It’s kind of terrifying really. After this year everything changes,” Bucky commented, leaving his glass on Steve’s bedside table, before turning back to him. He was looking up, his chin in hand as he lay beside him.

“Things already changed drastically for me this year if I’m honest.” He added, reaching out, grazing Bucky’s face with his hand, before leaning in for a kiss.

And yeah, you could say that again.

“You know, before that night at Clint’s place? I don’t think I ever even looked a guy like that before.”

Bucky just laughed.

“Bullshit, Rogers. Come on!”

“I swear!”

“You are literally around half naked jocks all the damn time, are you tellin’ me you never even looked? Not even a peek?”

“I swear!” he said around a mouthful of popcorn, with a smile of course because he was really a big nerd. “It’s like, yeah you look but you don’t LOOK, you know? Those guys are like my brothers, no.”

“Alright fine, tell me something, you remember Mr Ward?”

At that Steve just rolled his eyes.

“ … Fine okay so maybe I’ve thought about it before,” his instant admission made Bucky laugh so hard he almost fell off Steve’s bed.

“Dude, you’re _so easy_ , I can’t even –“

“Fuck you, Barnes I’m not _easy_!” he retaliated by throwing too much popcorn at him hitting him directly in the face, because that fucker had good aim.  It escalated quickly because it could, and sure enough the entire bowl was over the bed, and down Bucky’s shirt.

“You’re cleaning this shit up,” Steve demanded while attempting to stuff more popcorn down Steve’s shirt. It meant he was on top of him now, it meant Bucky would totally vacuum Steve’s room if he kept wriggling on him like that.

“Take it back, I’m not easy.” He protested, while very much literally straddling Bucky’s hips, all but pinning him to his bed.

“Okay, so … you’re not easy,” he sassed, giving his best pout, his best bedroom eyes, “but you do have a type.”

“I do no-“

“Tall…dark haired … with an ass that looks great in black skinny jeans,” Bucky beamed as Steve just sighed. “Bedroom eyes that tell you just what you want to know…” he laughed.

Yeah, their substitute Mr Ward was total dick, but he was a hot dick so that’s all that mattered.

“So my type is Beyonce? She’s everyone’s type, man.”

Bucky just cocked a brow.

“Whatever, you’re so easy shut up.”

“I am not. Proof of fact, you’ve been in my bedroom; in my empty house, for almost two hours and all we’ve done is kiss.”

“You think that’s because of you, pal?”

At that Steve rolled off him and they both sat up, breathless from being brats. Bucky checked his phone then, and he had a group text from the girls.

‘Are you doing him right now? If so, use lube, straight boys hate it when you fuck them lube less,’ Natasha  wrote.

Wanda just added a little heart emoji, and Peggy told him to ‘have fun and don’t listen to Nat she’s just mad no one is fucking her with or without lube’, followed by several winky emojis.

“Something up?” Steve asked then, not prying but not – not prying either.

“Just the girls being dumb, they think … who cares what they think...” he added, putting his phone on the bedside table.

“Well, you do for one, you’ve gone red.”

“I’ve gone red because you were sitting on my dick practically a minute ago and now you’re not.”

“I … wasn’t sure what you wanted to do tonight.”

Bucky understood that, he also understood his nervousness; it bled through in his voice as he picked at invisible fluff on his bed.

“I totally understand if …whatever we’re doing… that it just stays how it has been? But also … I mean I’m… not opposed to other stuff.” Steve kept going, blushing now. God he was so cute. So cute that Bucky leaned in and kissed him again, this time sliding on to his lap. They were both hard, a relief to Bucky that he wasn’t the only one.

“I think we gotta take advantage of all this free time, and space, and a big old comfy bed… is what I think.”

Steve looked vaguely scared then. But Bucky just kissed him softly until he moaned before pulling back.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, and neither do I right?”

Steve nodded with a deep breath.

“So, since I’ve done stuff…. Like this a lot before –“

“A lot?” Steve looked vaguely sceptical.

“…Okay so I’ve done this before a few times, with a few guys…”

That made Steve smile.

“I …wanna make out and see where it goes?”

“That… I can definitely do.”  He added before going in for another kiss.                              

                                                                               **********

“You know if the wind changes you’re fucked,” he opened as Nat sat in the arts room alone, finishing up her portrait, a reimagining of a 16th century painting in modern warfare. It was pretty bad ass.

“You’d know from experience then I take it,” she answered without looking up. So he sat next to her.

“You never answered my text about lunch.”

“Been busy.”

“Mmm. See that. Aren’t you hungry?”

She looked at him then, and she looked sad.

“Don’t you have plans with your boy? Somewhere secret and dark no doubt.”

Bucky sighed at that, he was really over this argument.

“Come on, Nat, don’t be sore okay this isn’t … it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Really, so you’re saying this rosy cheeked, eye-fucking each other in every class- you isn’t that way because of him?”

“Is that so bad?!”

“NO!”

“Then what?”

She put down her tools then, and turned to look at him fully.

“He’s not like you, okay? He’s … one of them. He’s the one that can walk away from this when he’s gotten whatever the hell this is out of his system. You’ve been there before, I fucking witnessed it.”

“Steve’s not him.”

“No, but he’s pretty damn close!”

“HE’S NOT. He’s nothing like …” he lowered his voice then, the people in their school had bat-ears that’s for sure. Empty hallways meant nothing. “Look, you don’t even know him okay, so I’d appreciate it if you’d stop ragging on him without –“

“I know guys like him.”

“But you don’t know HIM. And frankly Nat your concern is really coming across as bitter, jealousy at this point and I’m fuckin’ tired of it. Barton is good enough for you but Rogers isn’t? Look, I’m not yours to protect okay? I’m a big boy.”

She looked hurt then, and he instantly wanted to take his words back.

“Fine, whatever, I’m going to take my bitter, jealous ass to lunch alone, just so you know.”

And with that she slammed her portfolio closed and grabbed her stuff and bolted for the door. Leaving him feeling like the turd he was.

                                                                                                               ******

Steve pulled away from their kiss, “You’re distracted, what’s up?”

“Nothing, it’s fine, come on… I gotta go home soon,” He lied, he really was that distracted, and Steve wasn’t having any of it.

Steve pulled away then fully, getting off his lap too.

“Steve, come on …” he whined.

“No, I’m not just some … distraction from your distractions, dude.”

And that instantly made Bucky feel ashamed of himself.

“Sorry. I … but to be fair I don’t fucking know what we are,” And it was true, they had spent two nights prior to this making out, sucking each other off, messing around, sure, and yeah there were small moments throughout the day where they connected in private for a kiss or a joke, but this… he had no idea what it really was, or what Steve wanted. Nat’s words rang in his ears now constantly.

“You said you were fine with how things were… Dude, if you’re not –“

“I was. I am … Jesus I don’t know anymore,” He got off Steve’s bed then, trying to find his shoes. “It’s just … I know you said Sam is getting suspicious, and Clint too probably, and frankly I hate lying to him about this. He’s my friend and I’ve never lied to him about anyone I was seeing before…”

“You wanna talk this out, let’s talk?” Steve offered.

“All I know is I like you, and I hate this situation, that’s all.”

Steve nodded, he understood that. He wasn’t sure what this was either, but the truth was he was too scared to discuss it in reality for fear of breaking the glass on what they were doing. He really loved spending time with Bucky, and not just making out either. But what that meant for his life? It meant that everything flipped upside down if he admitted to anyone else in his life the extent of just how much he liked this boy.

_He wasn’t gay._

“I gotta go, sorry,” Bucky was panicking, he could see it in his face, as he reached for his jacket and Steve had to stop that. He knew himself how much he hated that feeling and he didn’t want Buck to feel that for even half a second. So he stopped him, he grasped him gently by his wrist and stalled him enough that he looked at him.

“Buck come on, it’s gonna be okay.”

“How’s that Steve? I… get that this is hard for you, and last thing I want is to force you in to anything or … that’s not my style.” He sighed. “But you think it’s easy for me just because I’m out? You think that was easy?”

“No, of course not…”

“It’s not, and I was really young… and the only people there for me at first were my friends, and now I don’t have that because I’ve gone back into the proverbial closet with you.”

“Natasha…” Steve deducted.

“She thinks you’re gonna get bored, and I’m gonna get hurt, and part of me thinks she’s not wrong.” He pouted then, not intentionally Steve could tell. The truth was, Steve could tell a lot about Bucky now, in the short few months that things had been happening, he realised he knew this guy as well as any of his friends, and Bucky knew him a helluva lot better than most too.

Steve got closer to him then, and he could almost feel the uncertainty roll off the guy in waves.

“Hey, come on, look at me, please?”

And when Bucky did Steve hated the sadness he saw there. So Steve leaned in and kissed him, surprised that Bucky let him if he was being honest.

“Don’t go… Stay. Stay with me tonight?” he asked in between kisses. Bucky looked confused for half a second but from the look on Steve’s face, clued in.

“You’re not for that…” Bucky offered.

“Says who?”

“Says… Jesus Steve.”

“Jesus said a lot of shit, for a dude that hung out with twelve dudes and a hooker in his free time, Buck.”

That made Bucky laugh; then and sit with resignation on the bed.

“Steve, it’s a big deal what you’re saying you know?”

“I know… believe me I’ve been thinking … a lot about this.”

“Yeah?” the cocky boy came through then and Steve was happy to see him, “How much is a lot? You been thinking of me a lot when you’ve been thinking about this?”

Steve just blushed.

“Shit Rogers, way to surprise a guy.”

“That’s me, full of surprises.”

“We don’t have to –“

“Do you want to?”

“Fuck yes.” He murmured, looking to his feet for a second.

“It changes things, if we –“

“Maybe things should change.” He added with authority then, because of them needed to be sure. “Look, we’re out of here in a few months. We …whatever we do now matters now. After that we can decide how the rest of our lives go, but for right now, all I know is I don’t want you to walk away. I don’t want to not… have this with you. We can talk Natasha around, make her see that I’m not that guy that she thinks I am, make them all see that … I would never intentionally hurt you.”

Bucky nodded. And then sighed before blurting out his next sentence.

“I lost my virginity to a guy you know.”

Steve was taken aback by that but let him continue.

“It… I was too young, I know that now, I was stupid and thought… thought he loved me; that I loved him but… that’s not what it was at all, it was… a mistake. And after he … broke my heart,” he sighed again as if annoyed at his choice of words, “I just … hooked up instead of … you know… caring.”

Steve nodded. A tingle up his spine in a way that told him that the guy wasn’t a good one.

“Who –“

“Brock.”

Steve’s eyes widened.

“Yeah,” Bucky laughed bitterly. “He’s not just an aggressive prick on the field either. It wasn’t … fun.”

_He hurt him._

Steve’s blood boiled.

“He’s …”

“I don’t even think he’s gay or maybe bi, but I think it was a game, in the end.” Bucky shrugged again and Steve’s heart broke. No one deserved that.

“The woman I lost it to? She um, was my mom’s friend.”

Bucky’s head snapped up, his eyes wide then too.  Steve just blushed as he explained about his forty five year old virginity thief!

“We’ve both made …choices. Maybe not so good ones? And I’m sorry it was with Brock. Like that’s just …” Steve shook his head and Bucky laughed.

“Worst idea I ever had, including licking the iced pole in kindergarten and getting my tongue stuck there.”

Steve burst out laughing then, and Bucky grasped for his hand.

“You though; going for the cougars. Damn, Rogers.”

“Shut up, it was… terrifying.” He admitted with a smile.

Bucky nodded with wide eyes, clearly making fun of him.

“No shit, she could have eaten you alive, my friend.”

“That all I am? Your friend?” Steve fished.

Bucky just blushed.

“What you wanna be then?”

“Never had a boyfriend before, kind of like the idea of it … If …”

Bucky kissed him then, with an intensity that pushed him back on the bed. Both of them being idiots didn’t stop it there, either.

Bucky’s t-shirt, shoes, Steve’s shirt, pants, socks, until they were fooling around in their underwear, the nearest to naked they’d gotten since the whole thing started. Bucky was mesmerised by Steve’s body, goddamn coach was the devil but the shape he’d whipped those ball players into was a thing of beauty. Bucky wasn’t a skinny guy that didn’t lift, but he was nowhere that, either. Not that he’d think so the way Steve was obsessing with kissing him, his neck, his nipples, his pecks and belly, all got so much attention that he was feeling lightheaded in no time at all.

“I wanna … I want to … please?” Steve asked.

“What you want exactly? Words, Steve.” Bucky laughed.

“I want to …have sex with you. I’d like to … _to_ …” he was blushing up a storm and it was too damn adorable.

“You wanna fuck me, baby?”

At that Steve rolled his eyes, “I still fuckin’ hate that nickname shit, Buck.”

It made Bucky cackle.  Yeah he knew that, it broke the ice though.

“But yeah I do… and I want you to –“

“Damn you don’t mess around do you?”

“Been messing, don’t want you to think I don’t want to know what it’s like though, I think you’d be amazing …at that.”

Bucky just cocked a brow.

“Your faith in my fucking skills is noted, thank you.” That got Bucky a slug in the arm before Steve kissed it.

“Stop, I’m trying to be serious here.”

At that Bucky sat up, with Steve straddling him, it brought them face to face real fast. He touched his guy’s blond stubble, “I know; I’m grateful really because it is serious.”

“Do you want to?” Steve asked then, and it was really all Bucky needed to not wait anymore.

Because yes, he really wanted to!

Bucky grinned then, wide and wicked.

“Got lube?”

                                                                                               ****************

Bucky tried to stop smiling, he really did. It was seven am, he had maybe four hours sleep before he borrowed one of Steve’s t-shirts, grabbed his stuff and ran home to sneak inside and ‘wake up’, in time for his mother to find him in his room.  Walking the ten blocks home in the dark of predawn gave him the time he needed to think of how his day was going to go.

Of course fantasy and reality rarely matched up.

Except for a time the previous night.

They were naked, covered in kisses and sweat, he was pretty sure he was floating, because Steve was inside him, fitting like he was born to be there.  This beautiful boy above him peppering his damp skin with sweet kisses; as he fucked into him in a way that made Bucky’s toes curl with pure pleasure. Sure it was awkward, and funny, and it didn’t last very long all things considering, but for their first time, Bucky was elated. Lying together afterward, just shit talking and giggling like idiots, to Bucky, it was perfection. The comfort he felt in Steve’s arms, the feeling that he belonged there.

When Steve closed his locker right before second period, he jumped because Peggy Carter was standing there, smiling.

“Fuck!”

“Sorry,  I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Uh, you didn’t just … say hi or something, okay?” he added stuffing his books in his bag.

“Okay, but listen, we need to talk you and I.”

“Why?”

She just raised a brow at him before rolling her pretty brown eyes.

“Really it’s unnecessary to play so dumb with me, so can we please?” she motioned to  the chem lab to their left that was free. When they got inside, she shut the door behind them.

“I have five minutes before my free period ends so I’ll make this quick,” he waited for her to continue, “It’s about Bucky.”

“Look, if you’re just going to give me a hard time, save it, Natasha has already –“

“I’m sure she has, but listen to me, I don’t care.” That shocked Steve. “Frankly Bucky isn’t as dumb as he looks, and I’d assume neither are you,” most backhanded compliment ever, but okay. “So it’s whatever, be with him, don’t be I don’t care. Just, know that if you do hurt him that my father’s brother works for the SAS and I could probably have you killed.”

Steve’s eyes widened then, because really, he was sure she wasn’t kidding.

“What I wanted to talk to you about is Sam.”

“Oh.”

“Sam and Bucky more to the point.”

God, please say he hasn’t dated Sam too!?

“Sam and I have been … exchanging texts and stuff, and we’ve had lunch a time or two on the weekends, and we’ve been … well… getting to know each other a little.”

Yeah, Steve figured.

“So?”

“So, my point is, is that he talks about you, how … distant you’ve been with him lately, you never want to hang out, you study an awful lot alone nowadays, and when he calls you’re never home. He’s suspicious you’re with a girl, but then he sees how you look at Bucky,  I’ve been noticing him, noticing you, noticing Bucky, and frankly it’s just a matter of time before he figures out why you keep making heart-eyes at the arty boy in Math class.”

He does not make heart eyes!

“Look, Bucky might be arse backwards for you, no matter how misguided, but … I’m just giving you a heads up, shall we say?”

“I’m … not ready to …tell people. It’s not easy for me, Peggy. I like him, a lot, I do. And despite what Natasha thinks, I’m not the devil incarnate.”

That made Peggy smile; she had a pretty smile Steve mused.

“Natasha is busy worrying about her own love life with your friend Clint, so really she has no business sticking her oar in where it’s not needed. Seems to me, you and Bucky are working things out just fine on your own.”

That was true.

“I’m just not… this is all so new.”

She nodded, with a sympathetic look on her face.

“It’s not that I don’t … that I’m ashamed that’s not what it is,” and it wasn’t, it was just a lot to deal with, and there was his mother and his friends to consider, on top of finals, and college and it was just, yeah, a lot.

“It’s just … well, I’ve got a lot riding on my scholarships, and causing any kind of scandal now?”

“I understand.” She said calmly, he had half expected an argument.

“You …do?”

“Of course, and so does Bucky you know? He said as much this morning; sure this was through a smile that had his cheeks hurting he was so happy with himself,” She laughed, “But he understands, he’s not expecting… well much of anything if I’m honest.”

“Really?”

“He’s happy just … seeing where things go. He’s not expecting a parade, Steve.”

Steve nodded then, “Peggy, can you help me?”

She smiled.

“What can I do?” she offered, hopping off the desk and listening to what he had to say.

Maybe he could make whatever this was, work after all.

                                                                                               *******

That lunch time, when Bucky rounded the corner, (gross meatballs and dry spaghetti, plus an apple because that’s what was going to keep him alive) he saw his usual table wasn’t where it used to be, and that it was rather preoccupied. Two tables joined together. Natasha was listening to something Clint was saying – wild gestures an all, Peggy was whispering to Sam, and Wanda was laughing at something Steve was saying.

Steve.

_Wait, what?_

“There he is!” Clint welcomed standing up, making Nat roll her eyes. Yeah he still needed to fix things with her.

“Uh hey… everyone.”

Everyone gave a little nod or wave, including Steve who smiled.

“What’s going on?” He asked and Wanda sat up straight.

“Well, since these four are dating now it’s apparent’ a thing that we all hang out for meals,” she shrugged. “I don’t know why we didn’t before, they aren’t nearly as meat headed as I assumed.”

“Aw, thanks Wanda,” Steve added in a sarcastic tone, and frankly Bucky still thought he had walked into the twilight zone.

“You’re welcome, Captain Puppy Boy,” she added, putting him on the head before she got up and was making her way toward the sodas.

“Uh okay, you and Clint make it official then?” He asked Nat, hoping she’d take pity on him and speak first.

Nat just looked at Clint and then back to Buck.

“Maybe, he gets  a trial run I guess.”

“I’m acing it, by the by,” Clint answered a mouthful of fries, grin firmly in place.

“And I’m still waiting on Sam to officially ask me out on a proper American date,” Peggy sighed over dramatically and Bucky looked to Sam who just looked bashful. Steve laughed in front of him and caught his attention.

“I guess this is okay,” Bucky commented, tucking into his meal, eyes flitting to Steve who was doing the same. He was absolutely not thinking of how it felt to be fucked by him less than twenty four hours before, he wasn’t thinking about the sounds he made, or how his damp eyelashes fanned his cheeks as he moaned in pleasure.

Absolutely not.

He was just eating his lunch.

That’s all.

                                                                                               ***********

“Steve,” Sam began as they finished up packing their shit after practice. “Is there a reason why Rumlow has a black eye and spent the entire game glaring at you?”

Steve shrugged. Maybe there was, maybe Steve cornered him in the locker room prior to practice before anyone else arrived, maybe they had words, maybe his fist met his face. Maybe the coach had to break them apart.

Maybe.

“No idea. Maybe his girl finally had enough.”

“She’s a hell of a right hook if she did.”

“Guess so.”

Sam finished packing his bag then and Steve decided to bite the bullet.

“He’s not a good guy.”

“No shit, Steve. You remember that freshman kid he we had to stop him beating on?”

Poor Peter, he was a good kid.

“Like I said he’s not a good person, and to be honest, his …way of just hating on everyone that’s different, it’s … not cool.”

“No it’s not.”

“You’re not like that though, right Sam?”

“An asshole that beats on freshman kids? Shit man I’d hope not!”

Steve just laughed.

“Nah, I mean,  you’re …smart. Like, you see that the world is different … not … like not everyone’s gotta fit in a box. I like that about you.”

Sam’s brows knitted together in confusion.

“Did the ball hit you too hard out there?”

He laughed it off, or attempted to at least.

“No, I just… you’re a good guy is what I’m sayin’. Peggy’s a lucky girl.”

At that Sam blushed.

“She’s scary man, she’s really … blunt.”

“She’s English.”

“I know, but she’s … still scary. Hot, so hot, and that accent, mmmm.” He batted his lashes making Steve laugh.

“If …” Steve started but stopped. But then thought, fuck it, and went for it anyway. “If someone you knew …was different… you’d still …”

“Steve really I’m going to call the nurse, use your words man, and in order this time?” He patted him on the shoulder.

“You ever find yourself having feelings for someone … more than just feelings … maybe.” Steve sighed, he was really bad at this!!

“Uh, sometimes?”

“But it’s someone you’re not meant to have feelings for,”

“What like my mom’s friend twenty years older than me?” he cocked a brow laughing.

“I hate you, first of all and second of all, no… just forget it I’m not making sense.”

“You aren’t, but usually when you go inarticulate it’s because you’re stressin’. It’s just me man.”

“I know, I j just,” Steve took a deep breath. “If you had a friend, and they were someone you’d knew forever, but they discovered something about themselves that changed everything even they knew, would you still wanna be that person’s friend?”

Sam looked worried then and sat next to Steve on the bench.

“If you tell me it’s cancer I’m walking out right now,” he said seriously.

“Jesus no!”

“Well fuck man, what is this dramatic as fuck shit you’re pullin’ here. If you aren’t dyin’ then it ain’t any big deal. You like who you like, you do you man, you know I don’t give a shit. Unless it’s Peggy … or –“

“Beyoncé. I know, no, it’s … just hypothetical that’s all.”

Sam nodded then.

“Sure, well, I don’t care you know? Do whatever … who ever makes you happy, man.”

“Except Beyoncé,” Steve sassed, earning him a serious nod from Sam. He’d had a major thing for her since he was ten, it wasn’t fading.

                                                                                               ********

“You know, I shower with dudes all the time…” Steve said in between moans, Bucky was on his knees, working him open with his mouth and fingers under the warm stream of the showerhead. “But it’s … it’s oh… oh… _God…_ Never like this,” it made Bucky smirk and that in turn made Steve gasp.

“I’d kinda hope _not_ , Steve,” Bucky whispered, standing up then, but keeping his fingers right where they were. “You like this though, right?” he smirked, because please, of course he liked this, he fucking loved this and Bucky knew it, he could feel just how much he loved it too.

“I… oh … it’s ….. _mm_.”

Yup that’s what he thought, too.

“Steve sweetheart, you home?!”

Came the voice on the other side of the door and both boys froze.

_Because holy fucking shit!?_

Steve looked to Bucky with wide eyes both of them stock still.

“Uh, yeah I’m in the shower … you’re home …really early? You okay?” he yelled.

“Yeah I’m fine, well, no I’m sick, but nothing to really worry about –“

Steve looked worried though.

“Just a bug I think, I told you I couldn’t shake it… I vomited at work so they sent me home.”

And the mood was well and truly dead. Bucky moved away from Steve, causing him to jerk a little at loss of contact.

“You should um, go lay down in your room … in the dark. I’ll bring you some tea.”

“… No, it's fine really –“his mom’s voice muffled from behind the door.

“Mom honestly, I’m almost done in here I’ll be right there just go lay down, please?” Steve looked to Bucky then and thank GOD he undressed in the bathroom.

“Alright if you insist.”

“I DO, I really do.” He shrugged at Bucky then, both of them red faced and terrified. Bucky was sure his heart was beating out of his chest before Steve leaned in to whisper to him.

“I’m so sorry, I … she wasn’t due back I was really …. _Really_ looking forward to this.” He said and his sad eyes told Bucky that was the truth. As did his hard-on but that’s neither here nor there.

“Another time,” Bucky added, before kissing him quickly and all but tip-toeing out of the shower, and beginning to towel off. What followed was the tensest ten minutes of attempted escape in Bucky’s young life. High tailing it out of Rogers’ bedroom window was not how he imagined his evening ending.

At all!

_***********_

“Yo Bucky?” came the voice from down the hall, and almost everyone turned to look at Sam as he came bounding toward Bucky at his locker.

“What? Nosy asses scoot!” Sam said the watching people in the hallways. “Swear to God they see a man yell and they think it’s gonna be all hell breaking lose.”

“In fairness in this school that’s usually exactly what happens.” Bucky answered and Sam shrugged.

“True,” Sam smiled, “Whatever, listen I wanna ask your girl Peggy out, for real this time, not just like a group thing, you know? And I was wonderin’…”

“She likes the arcade, it might not look like it, but she does, gets real competitive. If you really want to have fun with her buy hot dogs and challenge her. She won’t back down, plus, she can pretty much swallow one in one go.”

Sam’s eyes went wide at what that implied.

“You’re welcome,” Bucky merely smiled in return, as he moved to walk away, he was going to be late for English.

“Uh,” Sam strode by his side for a bit then, “thanks, that’s real informative.”

“Can’t stop thinking about that hot dog huh?”

Sam just laughed then, patting Bucky on the shoulder.

“You’re solid man. I appreciate it, and… Hey listen, you ever need me to return the favour, I know all about Rogers, even things he doesn’t think I know, so feel free.”

Before it registered with Bucky what that meant exactly, Sam was already sprinting back down the hallway.

“Wait, what?!” Bucky yelled, but Sam just shrugged in his direction, still walking backwards with skill.

Well, fuck.

                                                               ***

It was just after the bell went for the day and Bucky couldn’t wait to get out of there, he hadn’t seen Steve all day, or Natasha, but she was out sick or so said Wanda. He still needed to fix things with her, but he was in too much of a panicked state over Sam knowing, and what that maybe meant for Steve.

He rounded the corner by the parking lot where Steve parked his bike, and waited.

“Oh, hey,” Steve said as he spotted Bucky leaning against the wall, in all his leather jacket skinny jeaned, messy sexy haired glory.

“Hey. Can we talk?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

Two girls walked by chattering away, not even noticing them but Bucky still waited until they were out of earshot.

“I didn’t know we were telling people, about us.”

“We are?”

“Sam knows.”

Steve stopped unlocking his bike then and stared at Bucky.

“I didn’t tell him, did you?”

“Uh, no? Hence my shock when he said that if I ever needed help knowing stuff about you he’d be fine with it.”

Steve looked confused then.

“Peggy?”

“She’s not a snitch, Steve.”

Steve sighed.

“Natasha?”

“Hell no.”

“Well then who?”

“I don’t know, but you need to talk to him, to … see.”

Steve nodded a pit in his stomach that worried him though.

“Okay, sure, right… Okay. Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck. It came out of nowhere. Honestly. I’m …he didn’t seem mad, but then again I had just told him Peggy was real skilled with hotdogs, so many he was distracted?”

That made Steve laugh, before he clapped Bucky on the shoulder much like Sam had done.

“Gotta go find him, can … you come over later?”

He couldn’t and he told him as much, his aunt was visiting, there was a mandatory family dinner planned. Steve’s disappointed face could end wars, frankly.

“I can call you though, later?”

Steve smiled again, before moving to leave.

“Look forward to it.” He yelled, and still no one batted an eye, as he ran off back in the direction he came.

He was such a weirdo, Bucky realised.

Bucky also realised he was his weirdo.

At least for now.

                                                               ***************************

Nat lived across the street from Bucky, it was of wondrous coincidence that when she moved their when they were just starting high school that they became instant friends. She was the tough one, raised an only child like Bucky, but shifted around due to a military family background. She wasn’t warm when you first met her, in fact, she was downright icy. But once you broke that ice, inside she was just a big old marshmallow.

That was until she decided not to fuck with you anymore, then the ice returned, which Bucky knew, but he took the chance (and some of his mother’s chicken soup) to her door that afternoon.

Her mom directed Bucky to her room, because he was trusted like that, her folks knew Bucky had no interest in their daughter ‘like that,’ Which made him smile, because if it ever had to be a woman, he was sure she’d be the love of his life.

Maybe she was, in a lot ways already that. The non-romantic love of his life.

“I thought I banished you,” she croaked from underneath her duvet.

“You did but I come seeking forgiveness for my sins.”

She snorted before popping her head out to look at him, and whoa she looked like death.

“Also my mom sent over soup and those cracker things you like.”

She perked up at that as Bucky handed her the container, little plastic spoon and pack of crackers.

“Buttering me up with food, I see you.”

“And oddly minus the butter.” He added sitting on her tissue covered bed. “You’re a gross human being by the way,” he noted and she just sighed.

“I’m sick.”

“Aw.” He was being sarcastic but he did feel bad.

“How’d you get sick? I mean I figured if Barton was giving you anything it was the herp not the flu.”

She kicked him then, and yeah he deserved it.

“Allergies plus Coney Island plus rain… equals shit times.”

He nodded.

“Nat I’m sorry –“

“I don’t care, shut up.”

“No I gotta –“

“You gotta drop it, I don’t care. Look I was being too … smothering, and besides I’ve heard from multiple sources – including Peggy – that Rogers isn’t a douche, not even close. Her mother knows his mom and she’s … good people, he’s good people – you know he volunteers down at the old folk’s home? Like who the fuck does that?”

That made Bucky laugh because no, he didn’t know.

“Talks to all the old Vets, even dances with the little old ladies; I mean what kind of crackhead.” She said with a laugh but there was a fondness in her voice, and to Bucky, that felt like a win.

“He’s a good person.”

“And he’s not Rumlow, even if he wears the same uniform.”

“So is that your way –“

“Of saying, fine shag the straight guy I don’t care.”

“Stealing Peg’s phrases now, she’ll be proud.” It made Nat roll her eyes, she kept on eating though.

“Whatever, and Clint knows.”

Bucky’s eyes widened.

“I didn’t tell him,” she confessed over a cracker, “he was just like ‘so how long has Barnes been in love with Rogers,” she mocked in a manly voice that sounded nothing like Clint, what the hell Natasha? “And I was all, ‘I don’t even know what you’re talking about,’ and I even tried to distract him with my boobs, and you know my boobs are distracting,” they were. “But he was adamant, thought it was hilarious… just saying.”

“Great, so he knows, or thinks he does, and Sam knows, or thinks he does. This is so not how this was meant to go.”

“How was it meant to go, I’m curious.”

“Honestly, I figured we’d fuck around and he’d have the gay fear and I’d never see him again.”

“Not how it happened, huh?”

“Nope. And … I mean it’s been nice, but I still don’t expect him … I don’t expect him to come out? Or … even … I mean it’s fine for now. We’re out of here in a few months anyway.”

“You tell him you’re headed to UCLA?”

Their arts programme was a gem, and Bucky was lucky to be accepted.

“Not yet.”

“Clint says Steve’s headed to USC… could be kismet.”

At that Bucky stood up, his phone beeped in his pocket simultaneously.

“Alright, enough crazy talk.” He pulled out his phone, “I gotta go, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow? Veg date?”

“Veg date! Bring more soup, my mom’s stinks.”

He checked the text on his phone, and really wished he hadn’t. It was a selfie shot of Steve, rather Steve’s naked chest with the captions ‘free to talk?’.

“Done; and I’ll bring sugary crap because what’s a veg date without snacks.”

“I get to pick the movies.” She whined. And of course she did.

“Done.” He grinned. “We good?”

She just rolled her eyes, “Get out, go text your boyfriend or whatever.” But she smiled, and that meant the world.

                                                                                               ********

Bucky did text him back right quick, but only to say that he was heading for a family dinner, to which Steve responded with a timely sad face emoji, which got him a wink one in return. He decided to finish his homework, text his mom, and watch some TV until Bucky was free to call him.

His day had been one of ups and downs, and with the end of the school year fast approaching he realised that he and Bucky had been a ‘thing’ in one way or another for more than three months.

He hadn’t realised it before, but time had passed so quickly around them, that it was a milestone he wanted to mark, in some way. And maybe that way was letting Bucky take him up the butt? He wasn’t sure but it felt like an up the butt kind of celebration.

Then he giggled to himself because he was a fucking idiot.

After a couple of hours of pretending to be busy, but also cooking his mom her favourite chilli because he was an awesome son, and also, it was like, the one thing he knew how to cook well, he was excited to see that Buck’s name was flashing on his screen.

“Parentals make their exit?” he answered and got a laugh on the other end.

“Yeah, they’re taking my aunt to that bar downtown, there’s a karaoke thing and she’s queen of it.” Steve could almost hear the eye roll and it made him laugh.

“You?”

“Just in bed with Shakespeare,” he snorted.

“Kinky.” Bucky replied. “Never took you for the romancing of the dead type but I guess it takes all sorts.”

“Dick.” Steve sprouted.

“Hmmm, speaking of dicks,” at that Steve laughed, “That little selfie you sent before it was um, interesting.”

At that Othello got tossed on to the floor and Steve got more comfortable.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah… wait, you’re alone right?” his slightly panicked voice made Steve chuckle, after confirming that yes he was alone, he could hear Bucky settling down too on the other end.

Steve licked his dry lips and tugged on the drawstring of his pants.

“So what are you doing right now?” Steve offered and the laugh he was met with made him blush. “Shut the fuck up I’ve never done this before, okay?”

The laughing stopped but he could sense the mocking.

“And what exactly are we doing here?”

Be bold, Rogers.

“Well, I was gonna try and get us off but if you’d rather go do that by yourself –“

“Hey wow, buddy, pal, don’t be too hasty.”

“That’s what I thought. So… “ He was too nervous for this, Steve really wanted to do it but he was scared.

“So… alright; I’m in bed, I’m … pretending I’m not in an old t-shirt and boxers and am in fact naked, which I would be but my room is cold.” Bucky added, comically.

Steve chuckled then, his guy was an idiot too. It was comforting.

After a beat, when it became obvious that they were both touching themselves, Bucky spoke taking the reins.

“I want you on your knees in front of me, sucking me off,” Steve glided his hand into his pants and easily wrapped his fingers around his cock.

Okay, okay, okay, this was happening, Steve chanted in his mind.

“Oh, yeah,” Steve agreed as Bucky continued, proving his first thoughts on that guy right, he did have a mouth made for pure sin.

“I'd hold you real nice, with my hands ….on your ass. I know you like that.” Bucky added with a giggle.

Steve was having trouble believe it was his life at that moment in truth.

“Then, I'd wrap my lips around you, before I’d swallow you down until you hit the back of my throat with your dick.  I want you to put your hands in my hair like you do so sweet when you do, hold me down, can you do that for me?”

Groaning, Steve tugged on his cock, imagining his fingers threaded through Bucky’s messy hair, seeing his eyes water as he held his breath.

“If you want,” Bucky continued, “I could relax my throat, and really let you fuck my face. I love when you do that, did I ever tell you that?”

All Steve managed was a rather eloquent ‘Ngggh.”

“Tell me you'd do that for me, Stevie?” Steve breathed heavily into the phone before answering, feeling sweat begin to bead on his forehead. He didn’t think it fair, Bucky was doing all the heavy lifting here, but he was helpless to what was happening. And besides, of the two, Bucky was always the more vocal.

“I'd… fuck your pretty mouth like I know you love it, until you choked,” He imagined this and tingles settle in his stomach; his movements became more rough as he pushed his head deep into the softness of his pillows.

“Ah, fuck, Steve,” Bucky said, his voice breaking. After that all their words meshed into moans and panting, both of them  just rambling, inconsistent desires to each other down the phone, silently praying no one was within ear shot as Steve came all over himself seconds before Bucky did the same on the other end of the phone line, streets away in his bedroom all alone.

“Jesus Fucking Christ, that was awesome.” Steve muttered still feeling like jelly.

“Back in a sec,” came Bucky’s reply, and he figured it was to go get something to clean up with, frankly Steve really was a boy scout and kept wipes in his drawer.

“Back,” came the voice before an ‘oopmh’ sound, which was Bucky bouncing back into his bed. It made Steve laugh.

“So, that was fun,” Bucky added, “fuckin’ awesome,” Steve had to agree.

“I meant to tell you, I’m accepting in LA… UCLA… I figured it would get me a country away from my folks, see if I could make it on my own, my Uncle knows a guy who owns a bar near the campus, he’s gonna give me a job – just bar back, no serving because of age reasons,” Bucky rambled, but all Steve got from it was that they were going to be in the same city next year? That his low key worry of whatever this was with Bucky coming to an end, might have been for nothing? He was as elated as could be, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t just the orgasm talking.

“That’s fantastic, means we’d be close… if we … wanted to be.”

“I’d want us to be if you did,” Bucky tested, cautious, but still Steve could hear his smile.

“I would… and besides since Sam pretty much knows now… I’m not so worried about much else.”

“He mad?”

“The opposite actually, but Sam’s not an angry guy, at anything, even shit he probably should be angry at. He’s just the most chilled out person ever, he’s … my best friend.”

“He’s not even –“

“He said it was obvious for a while I had a ‘thing’ for you, but he wasn’t sure how far it went, now he sorta figured it out after we both disappeared during Clint’s parties twice… and the matching hickies that apparently only he noticed.”

“I was so fucking careful not to leave them anywhere visible!” Bucky defended and it made Steve laugh.

“I figure he was just listing stupid reasons, either way he knows, and he was surprised I guess? But says if I’m happy it’s cool. Then he went on this rant about his gay cousin Nathan and it got side tracked, also he and Peggy are totally doing it.”

Bucky laughed then, good for them!

“So.. I guess it means we … can relax, at least at school for a while anyway.”

“Guess so and besides it’s less than two months til we’re out of there anyway.”

“And in LA…”

Steve smiled.

“I’m driving out there you know? Gonna do like a cross country thing… to be a cliché.”

“And find yourself?” Bucky chuckled.

“Fuck you; it was a good idea at the time.”

“I’m sure it was, but you couldn’t find yourself on a comfy airplane?”

“Shut up, I was gonna ask if you wanted to do it with me.”

Innuendo included.

“You, me, the open road… embracing the high statistical likelihood that we could be murdered? How could I say no?”

“It’s romantic right?”

“Sure, if we’re in a horror film…”

Steve sighed, and it made Bucky laugh.

“I’d love to, Steve.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure, it’s a date; you know our first one even…”

At that Steve closed his eyes in shame. Right, they hadn’t really done that part of this yet. Everything was so upside down.

“You don’t call me making us grilled cheese and having juice boxes on my bed a date?” he defended and Bucky laughed his big happy laugh that made Steve’s stomach flip flop.

“I _absolutely_ call that a date, best one I’ve had in a long time too. But this … will be an adventure.”

Yeah it would be, one Steve realised he was more than ready for.

He couldn’t wait.


End file.
